I work at a sports bar. I have for almost 3 years now. And its a BIG one. Two floors. 38 TVs. In the middle of the small town called Pacific Beach in San Diego along the coast. It’s a young party town. Bums included. And having been submerged in it – amongst the masses of human behaviors – behavioral psychology and cognitive sciences fascinate me. I sometimes trip up on how I am even acting toward someone and why. It’s like a jungle out there. It all happens so fast, and people are so personal. And emotional. Girls and guys. Hence the fighting. Hence the passion behind sports fanatics. Hence the scandals that happen late at night after the games are over and the beats are droppin’. Liquid courage takes on a new face. And as a sober human, with the hired talent of “good judgment” (and organization) I am here to supply the drug, babysit the kids, and clean up the party. Oh and add in the variable of money and it’s psychological effect on inhibitions. I try to be positive. But in my role, three years time is enough. Let’s just say I can’t wait to graduate college from this section of town.

Check out this enlightening talk about how questioning our intuitions is a vast field being explored right now. Dan Ariely is a fascinating man himself.

http://go.ted.com/kK3

I’m an official fan of hers after this beautiful piece. So glad she finally did a film like this. SO much wisdom. A person with God-given talents who at the end of the day is human. I love how artistically it was done – especially because, as she says, she has the abilities to make her own dreams come true. Wouldn’t you portray yourself in the way you want to too? So artistic, so infinite, and so full of love. ‪#transcendental‬

My favorite line in the eleven and a half minute movie: “I’ve always considered myself a feminist, although I was always afraid of that word because people put so much on it. When honestly its very simple its just you know  a person that believes in equality for men and women. Men and women balance each other out and we have to get to a point where we are comfortable with appreciating each other.”

BOOM. I mean what else is there to say? That’s real.

She says a lot of other insightful things. I suggest a tune in. Life’s got me tripping on what is transcendental these days. Be aware of your actions, hmm.

So I’ve been spending a LOT of money in the last 3 years. They tell me it’s an investment, and I really, truly, am starting to believe them – but it still hurts to know I am in this much debt, and, that it’s all on me to get out of that debt with all my “skilllllls” I’ve been developing. That investment is my education. You know, the place they make you pay to then have them make you meet deadlines, write huge research papers, and read interesting books. And since I am paying for it, I for some reason would like to share a paper I recently wrote.

Portrait of a Lady was an assignment from my Humanities French Culture class. We were to take a jaunt to a museum that contained artwork from France’s past and to then write a paper on why we chose that specific piece. The following text is my personal Museum Report. My experience. My personal thoughts. Comments welcome as always. Have you seen this portrait? What does it evoke for you?

Portrait of a Lady by Marie-Guillelmine Benoist 1799. Oil on Canvas

            On Friday, November 14^th, 2014 around 3 o’clock p.m. I journeyed to the beautiful, and nation’s largest urban cultural park in San Diego, called Balboa Park where there is a plethora of museums (15) displaying historical preservations of art throughout the world, along with the chronicling of technological advances, a botanical garden, a theatre, a Zoo and much more. The day’s quest entailed happening onto a piece of artwork from the Visual Fine Arts era that took place in France for my revered Humanities “French Culture” class.

Upon entering The San Diego Museum of Art I was directed to the European Art gallery located on the second floor. I walked into the enchanting sunshine yellowed wall expanse where ornate Rococo style frames hung bountifully. About half way through the room I intersected a mutely vibrant painting of a semi-conservative lady of elegance. This particular artwork was coined “Portrait of a Lady,” recently attributed to the artist Marie-Guillelmine Benoist of 1799 done with oil pant on a canvas.

Before I delve into why I chose this oeuvre over the others in the room, I would like to give a little history on the artist and the time period. Miss Marie was born in Paris, France in 1768 and died in 1826. Benoist was one of the best-known women painters of the French revolutionary and Napoleonic periods. Having been taught by and working under iconic artists: Marie-Louise-Elisabeth Bigée-Lebrun and Jacques-Louis David, Benoist went on to regularly show at public exhibitions in Paris and Versailles and was endowed with several honors from the French Government. Because of Benoist’s time spent with Jacques-Louis David she developed a similar painting aesthetic, which is why this individual piece, amongst others, has only recently been attributed to her portfolio.

The reason I felt drawn to this singular artwork came down to a quite feministic view. However mutely art historians would like to argue this painting displays, I feel it to be a vibrant vocalization of the beauty a woman beholds; one that comes with the double edged sword that on one side requires a lady to be physically enticing while on the other side hoping to evoke a mindful, intellectual interest. Lady stands in the room confidently, on her own, with one arm across her chest – her heart – not only symbolizing the protecting of emotions but visually dumbing down the revealing of her womanhood: her chest. It is evident that when Lady woke, she prepared herself for this depiction. She carefully placed the ribbon in her voluminous curls, pinched her rosy cheeks, and selected a divine but relaxed gown with a complimentary shawl. (A repeated Benoist styling.) The title of this piece I feel could be also deemed “Definition of a Lady.” Her translucent skin gives way to vulnerability…sensitivity to the physical as well as the emotionality only a woman can experience, a frailty. Her wide eyes display the zeal every lady should behold in my opinion: one that gives a listener confidence in their speaking, and a look that radiates a love, a desire to know more, become wise, and experience the world with all the senses it beholds.

In a world where two hundred years ago women were submitting to their husbands political stance (Benoist reference to her reason for retirement at age of 46) and widely accepted view-of-role I feel that a painting of this extent is profound.

In retrospect this painting can begin to depict the development of women’s desire for rights and their hope for recognition and respect for their utter character as a magnificent creature of God. If a timeline with photographs were rendered of those Ladies who sat-in for an artist to reveal a piece of their soul from the beginning of Art versus the male counterpart, we would see that what it takes to be a Lady – a woman – requires much more strength than any man could evoke in an oeuvre. Portrait of a Lady spoke to me in a spiritual manner that required an in-depth look at a female embodiment, by being acutely detailed in the way it was executed… something no other painting or sculpture in the museum’s room by a French artist was capable of, to me.

“It’s like skateboarding without the skateboard.”

This is a really cool film that shows how these “movers” who partake in something called Parkour interact with the concrete world, as if it were their playground. It shows how architects are now integrating movement (physical and abstract) into their urban developments because of the “freerunner” concept and influence. If you ask me, I see a node toward evolution in this whole schematic. These guys (and women) are practically modern day ninjas – gymnasts really. Their activity is a form of exercise, an outlet for fun, and way to see our living environments differently. It’s not for all, but is quite a cool concept when it comes to architecture, urban development and the humans ability of physical movement.

Check out the video via this hulu link: http://www.hulu.com/watch/647606

“The First Rule of Conservation is: Collaboration is the best way to go.”

Here’s a matter that matters: Yellowstone: the return of the wolf – YouTube. It’s a short, well-filmed video about the Wolf wildlife controversy taking place in Yellowstone National Park. I’d love to just sit and talk to some of these people and ask them questions outside of this subject too. I love people who care so passionately about one thing. I admire that.

Growing up, my family would rent motor-homes and travel from California all the way to our family ranch in Eastern Montana. We would camp out and play farmhouse at the ranch for a few days and then hit the open road to visit places like Mount Rushmore, The Grand Tetons, Pompey’s Pillar, and one of America’s National Parks: Yellowstone; home to the consistently bursting hot spring “Old Faithful” and home to wildlife they just don’t have in good old California. There are the fury, rich brown, horned, but gentle-giant buffalos. There are the elegant deer with their handsome counterpart, head strong and antlered, the male Moose….he who lays sporadically across the land just under the tips of the tall yellow-flowered grasses of the great open spaces where the sky is bigger than anywhere else in the world. Also, within this community are of course bears, mountian lions, sheep, bob cats, birds, fish, amphibians, insects, etc but one that is under great controversy is the lone wolf. Currently I am taking a basic Biology class in order to complete my (5 class) minor of Environment and Society a.k.a. “Sustainability,” and this short YouTube film/link was part of our homework. As soon as I saw it was about Yellowstone, I knew my heart was going to be at home in this class. I love when that happens.

I am sharing this video and information because this is where I see beauty. I am not only fascinated by how we as human predators are trying to re-create a balance in the food chain with another predator that we killed off for centuries, but I see beauty in the act of preserving such a primal, emotionless, survival instinct. I now feel the urge to want to understand what the stance the natives (American Indians) take on such a matter. While I find the idea of a horse being taken down by a pack of wolves extremely heart-wrenching, I also realize those are my human emotions. Humans invest time into horses, they are not just pets, they are companions. A wolf doesn’t know this or care. And while the preservation has been more successful than the Yellowstone Wolf Project could have predicted, the wolf’s “robust population restoration” now has to be looked at and micro managed in order for our horse companions and the Elk (the wolf’s primary prey species) not be taken from us, as well as, throwing off the biodiversity of the surrounding ecosystems and their functions.

There is a man at the end of this video who poetically states the beauty that can be found in such a compelling and real issue:

“Wolves are very much a symbol of wilderness.
They are a symbol of something that is very much a part of our wildlife-heritage in the past.
Very much a symbol of what we have lost BUT more importantly a symbol of what, now, we have gained.

A large part of the success of the Yellowstone wolves has been the bringing together of people. That’s really a testament to the value that human societies play; and that coming together and working in different organizations to achieve a common goal. ” -Dan Stahler (Yellowstone Wolf Project Biologist)

Rule #1.