Just married couple, holding hands and walking in nature

Being a person who appreciates all things sustainable as well as a child who went through a divorce, I have always felt inquisitive about the psyche behind marriages, relationships and interdependency. I definitely feel it was the best conclusion for my parents. I felt that then and I still feel the same way. However, I do recognize how that divorce has driven my life in a direction that can probably only be related to what I went through in those detrimental developmental years as a teen; I believe in being financially independent of the person you are with (hence achieving a Bachelors Degree), I believe you should most definitely have hobbies and interests (be an independent and interesting person), and I believe taking your time to build a foundation with anything is crucial.

What I find even more interesting are some of the things this article from The New York Times points out. To start with, The New York Times lists birth control (I am an advocate, see that link) as a reason for less divorces (the article elaborates), later divorces (Do you!), and the rise of so-called ‘love marriages’….marry for love! Marry your best friend. And how ironic that those last two points are so opposite. ‘Doing you’ and having a best friend – or are they opposite? Depends on the dynamic two people acquiesce to, I suppose.

Perhaps the articles later point about the working class having more traditional notions toward the male being the breadwinner explains why in current and past economic times, this model of marriage either leaves the man struggling to find work or never marrying because he has not achieved that level of stability. Unfortunate. Which is where I feel some of our Generation Y mentalities should change.

I am a risk taker. & I believe in love. I am an open-minded person and I do see the future of marriage looking different than it has in the past. The article makes a node toward that by pointing out how the feminist revolution has changed women’s expectations. I can only speak for myself when it comes to my expectations, so what I will say, and repeat, is that I am open-minded and try my best not to have expectations. Although, I do have a moral compass and holdfast to my values. What those are, well, that’s for the man in my life to come to know, and my readers to surmise. 🙂

The article is enlightening, and it may instill a bit of faith back in you, or help you understand your dating life a bit better. Here is the link: The Divorce Surge Is Over, but the Myth Lives On – NYTimes.com.